Planning your wedding
at St. Bernard Church
Congratulations to the two of you on your engagement! A
wedding is an exciting time with a multitude of plans to be made.
It is important to understand what a Christian marriage is.
The commitment which you will make to each other, is a public act shared by
family, friends and the entire Catholic community. The heart of this celebration
of the Sacrament of Marriage is a covenant or promise made between the two of
you and God. It is primarily a religious event. Since marriage is a Sacrament of
the Catholic Church, at least one party in the marriage must be a practicing
Catholic and a parishioner of St. Bernard Church. Certainly, one of the signs of
a practicing Catholic is worshipping God weekly at your parish Church.
The following information has been put together for your
convenience to answer the usual questions asked by those planning on marriage
and to acquaint you with the procedures and requirements of the Archdiocese of
Los Angeles and St. Bernard Church.
As stated above, at least one of the parties in the
marriage must be a practicing Catholic. It is not enough that an engaged couple
wants to get married in the Catholic Church because parents desire it, because
the church is a nice setting for a wedding or because it is just an obligation.
Receiving a sacrament implies a relationship both with God and his church. A
priest will gladly discuss this with any who might wish to have this point
clarified. It is presumed that Catholics will be attending Mass regularly.
Before planning their wedding, the parties in an
inter-faith marriage (where one party is not Catholic) should discuss the
raising of the children in the Catholic faith. Indeed, all couples planning
marriage should discuss the role that God and faith will play in their future
marriage. In an inter-faith marriage, the Catholic part is required to sign a
promise that he or she intends to remain a Catholic and will do all in their
power to see that the children will be baptized and raised as Catholics.
The church is the proper place to celebrate Christian
worship and the Sacraments. The Archdiocese of Los Angeles does not permit
priests to celebrate weddings other in the church. Since the church building is
consecrated for the worship of God and a place for prayer, proper reverence is
expected at all times and respect will be observed. Loud talking and unnecessary
noise (which might disturb those who have come to pray) is always to be avoided.
Gum chewing is not permitted within the Church.
In order to give themselves sufficient time to plan, not
just got their wedding, but for their marriage, couples are to let the church
office know of their intention to receive the sacrament of marriage by making an
appointment with the church pastor at least six months prior to the desired date
of their wedding. This is a requirement of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and
not just of this parish; therefore, we are not at liberty to change to this
requirement. However, couples are advised to call for an appointment as far in
advance as possible. This may prevent disappointment over finding that day or
time already reserved, and where there has been a previous marriage, additional
time will be available to deal with the requirements of the church. Where one or
both parties have had previous marriage, even though it may have been just a
civil ceremony, no wedding date can be scheduled until the requirements of the
church have been met with regard to the previous marriage. Normally, the priest
with whom the couple meets will be the priest who will assist them in the
preparation period and also be the priest who will perform the ceremony.
Catholics must furnish a recently issued baptismal
certificate from the parish of their baptism. This is obtained by contacting the
parish of baptism and requesting a copy. It must be issued no earlier than the
previous six months. We also ask to see a copy of the first communion and
confirmation certificates. Catholics and non-Catholics alike must submit the
sworn testimony of the parents and intentions of the couple.
It is mandatory for the couple to secure a civil marriage
license. This does not mean that the couple must be civilly married. For more
information on marriage licenses please contact the County of Los Angeles
Registrar Recorder/County Clerk at (562) 462-2137 or at (323) 260-2991 or visit
http:
//regrec.co.la.ca.us/Clerk/Marriages.cfm. We ask that the marriage license to be turned into the
church office at least one week prior to the wedding date. On the day of the
wedding, the civil marriage license is filled out and signed by the priest and
witnesses. If either party is a widow or widower, require a copy of the Death
Certificate of your former spouse.
All couples preparing for marriage must complete a Marriage
Preparation Course and submit the Certificate of Completion to the priest before
the wedding date. Marriage Preparation Courses provide an opportunity for
engaged couples to assess their readiness for marriage and to assist them in
understanding that marriage is a vocation, a covenant and a sacrament. The
preparation courses are required of every couple preparing for marriage in the
archdiocese. Course options are made available for couples who have been married
or who have never been married before. The priest will assist you in selecting
the best possible preparation course for you.
Besides the marriage preparation course, the priest may ask
you to take a written communication inventory called FOCUS (Facilitating Open
Couple Communication, Understanding and Study). FOCUS is designed to identify
those areas where the couple already has good communication skills with one
another and where they do not. Basically, the FOCUS, pre-marital Inventory is a
tool to assist the couple in their communications with each other. The couples
will review the results with the priest.
In order to make your wedding day as personal and joyful as
possible, the priest will be happy to help the couple plan and prepare for the
wedding ceremony. Careful, prayerful planning and selection of texts and
scriptures for the wedding can add a great deal of warmth and meaning to the
wedding ceremony. We encourage family members and friends who are Catholic to
read the scripture readings and the Prayer of the Faithful if so desired.
The marriage to two Catholics should take place during a
Nuptial Mass. In this Mass, the couple may receive Holy Communion under both
species of bread and wine. The parties of an inter-faith marriage, that is,
between a Catholic and a Non-Catholic, may also be married at a Nuptial Mass
providing that the Non-Catholic is a baptized person and therefore, a Christian.
Only the Catholic party may receive Holy Communion.
Because of the parish schedule of confessions and Mass, no
wedding may take place later than 2:30 p.m. on Saturdays.
A wedding, like any other service in the church, is an act
of worship to almighty God. Consequently, music is to be religious in nature as
well in good taste. The music selected must be in keeping with the regulations
of the church.
If services of a musician are required, our two highly
competent musicians on contract with the parish are available. The music fee is
$100. Mariachis are also permitted. To employ one of our musicians, call the
church office at (323) 255-6142.
Floral arrangements are optional. It is always appreciated
when the wedding flowers are left for use at the Sunday Mass. Additional
decorations, if used at all, should be simple and always in good taste. Bows for
the pews can be used only if fastened by string, rubber bands or wire. Tape can
never be used since it damages the finish of the pews. The throwing of rice,
confetti, birdseed etc… in or around the church is strictly forbidden.
All monies must be given in cash at the church office at
least one week before the wedding. A receipt will be issued. As regards the
amount of the donation to the church, recommend the Biblical concept of tithing,
which would be 10% of the entire cost of the wedding; however, a minimum of
$300.00. This donation goes not to the priest who performs the ceremony, but to
St. Bernard Church and is used to help provide church ministries, staff,
facilities and fee for the coordinator.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation should be preceded by the
Sacrament of Marriage and Catholics in the wedding party are also encouraged to
receive Holy Communion at the Nuptial Mass. Confession is not normally available
on the night of the rehearsal. Couples should inform the other members of the
wedding and family that if they wish to go to confession, they should do this at
their own parish church (or any Catholic Church) on the Saturday prior to the
wedding. Our hours of confessions are Thursday evenings from 6:30 p.m. to 7:00
p.m. and Saturday afternoons from 3:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. For any other times you
will need to make arrangements with the priest who is assisting you with the
wedding preparations.
Professional photographers and video camera operators must
consult with the priest in the church prior to the ceremony. They will, at that
time, receive instructions designed to facilitate their task and at the same
time protect the dignity and the sacred character of the ceremony. All others
with cameras are requested to remain in their seats so as not to interfere with
the professional photographer or with the ceremony. Posed pictures are permitted
after the ceremony if the church schedule allows time for that. However, the
picture taking must be done quietly and respectfully.
The wedding coordinator is Margarita Arvizu and
she will contact you in advance to arrange for the rehearsal. You may
contact her by calling the church office. Rehearsals begin promptly at
the scheduled time. Lateness will result in a short and inadequate
rehearsal. All members of the wedding party, including parents, ushers
and Scripture readers should be reminded to be present on time for the
rehearsal and should dress and conduct themselves in a proper manner
while in church.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate
to ask. These along with all certificates and documents should be
directed to the priest who is assisting you.
We, at St. Bernard, wish you God's blessing now
and in the future. We pray that happiness will fill your hearts and
your home. May the Lord bless you with a long life together and may
your Sacrament of Matrimony always be a source of grace to you and to
all others who will be touched by your love for each other.
